I really dislike swimwear with a passion borne from having my first child at the age of 22 and not fulfilling my destiny to be a Sports Illustrated model…yeah in my wildest dreams. But without wanting to sound like my Mum, I had an awesome body before I had kids. I’ve always been lucky to have a fast metabolism and I’m tall so I carried any weight gain quite well through to my early twenties. Then I had two kids who both eat for England and are little skinny gazelles, it’s so unfair.

The time has come to get my wobbly behind back into shape, I’ve started taking small-ish steps back into fitness, with the slipped disc in tow I can’t get out running again yet but it wont be long. I have decided that swimming is going to be my therapy and work-out so tonight I will be frightening small kids and giving teenagers plenty to laugh at when I don my Special K-esque red swim suit and breast-stroke my way to a better body.

I’ve just had a skip through Glamour and Company magazines and yet again I’m dismayed at the sheer amount of bikini’s that are ‘hot’ this season. Admittedly the 1950’s inspired one piece swim suits are making a come back and gaining popularity year on year, and then of course there are the inbetweeners, tankini’s and cut away one pieces that cover up the bad bits and flaunt the best bits. On family holidays I have worn everything from frilly Barbie swimming costumes to my first C&A bikini which was turquoise tartan and I thought I looked amazing! Thinking back over trips abroad my finest hour was rocking a monochrome cut away one piece by Giles Deacon for New Look. It was swimwear perfection, cut away sides, hidden support and a one shoulder design. It really did make me feel like a young, chic girl on holiday with her mates, as opposed to a twenty-something harassed mum on an all-inclusive kid friendly week of hell. Now that I’ve had another baby its going to take more than a clever pattern and one shoulder design to hide all the junk in my trunk.

I know I’m heading back to the same conclusion as a earlier post or two, but once again it all comes down to confidence. I doubt I’m ever going to feel completely at ease in swimwear, so as long as Figleaves.com continues to stock 79 different varieties of shape enhancing one pieces I will be comfortable enough to bare my cellulite once in a while and teach my kids to swim……or at least float.

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One thought on “Swimwear…Urgh

  1. spinoza1111 says:

    You are a DOLL to Like Peter’s Crazy Teacher. Men used to wear what they wanted. In 1995 I thought Speedos were cool because I don’t get out much and they fit under my jogging shorts so I could swim and run!

    So off come the jogging shorts, absurdly, Mad Men tennis white shorts and out come the speedos and then I get JUMPED on the Oak Street Beach by this drunk, who informed me loudly that the “fag beach” was on North Avenue. The lifeguard approached us, and sizing up the situation quickly sez to me, “don’t say a word” and chills the home. The homeboy’s girlfriend was also trying to chill him out.

    With massive dignity like a Regimental Sergeant Major at Trooping the Colour, I put the shorts back on and left.

    Since that time I have promised my sons to wear board shorts. I gotta nice pair, Oakland Athletics colors.

    My theme is the skinny body because I studied art anatomy but here in HK, there is a ban on showing nudes…it’s kind of nuts since the girls, as is I believe their right, run around in shorts. I paint Sky Goddesses to safeguard my sanity and my family.

    Congratulations on being a Mom!

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