Fifty Shades of ?

I finished E.L James’ Fifty Shades of Grey last night and I’ve had some time to think about the characters and sleep on the filthy plot line. This is not a spoiler, no plot line revealed just my opinion on the book, so you can read on…..

Pain Rating Scale

I downloaded the title from Amazon on Kindle and settled down on Sunday to read in full view of Geordie and the kids running around causing havoc. After the first couple of chapters I was bored, but in trying to brush off the negative reviews I’s read I ploughed on to chapter six. Chapter six is round about where the text gets very graphic and I began to feel uncomfortable reading such intimate details in front of my kids, lucky for me that they don’t even know what a Kindle is! I was packing for my 300 mile round trip on Sunday afternoon and decided to leave my Kindle at home, not because I would feel self-conscious reading such a raunchy book in public, but because other than those sexy scenes it was a real struggle to finish. Lot’s of people have written reviews about how the text is repetitive and a little unbelievable in places, ‘Oh My‘ and ‘the way his pants hang from the hip in that way’ feature quite heavily but I think when faced with a ‘Room of Pain’ and little ‘Oh My’ wouldn’t go a miss!

In my opinion the book is too long by around 200 pages. On reaching chapter 19 I tweeted that once again I was struggling to see it through and was met with many responses such as ‘No carry on it gets better’ ‘You have to know how it ends’ etc. So at 1:34am this morning I finally finished the book and fell into an unsatisfied sleep. The ending is also a let down in my humble opinion and I have no desire whatsoever to read Fifty Shades Darker or Fifty Shades Freed to complete the trilogy.

When I’m reading a book I fully immerse myself in the story line, washing goes unwashed, carpets unhoovered you get the idea. Today I feel a bit annoyed with myself as I have some serious chores to do and the book is forgotten. I am returning to my ever faithful Peter Robinson and Peter James titles from today, their story lines stay with you for days, whether you like it or not, and once you’ve read about Banks and Grace well I have learned that you really shouldn’t stray.

My advice to those intrigued about Fifty Shades of Grey, buy it on Kindle its less than £3, that way you won’t feel short-changed if your left hoovering in a mood.

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