The Best Laid Plans

AA van, Bristol, England

He’s Here!

Today has been one of the most farcical in history and yet also one of the funniest thanks to an unexpected turn of events. Here’s how it went down….

5 am up to get ready as driving 100 miles south to drop eldest daughter back to school. Night before spent washing, ironing, packing etc to make sure we get out of the house with two (still sleeping) children packed snugly into the back seats before heading off into the early morning light. Kind of like kidnapping your own kids type of thing.

7 am kids awaken and decide they’re both ravenously hungry and so the in-car picnic begins. Rice Crispies and whole milk followed by yogurt and banana and a warm soft bread roll (because they love them with butter straight from the oven…god bless tin foil)

7.20 am kids fall back asleep and the clear up of the Rice Crispie avalanche begins.

8.10 am Fast lane of the M6 southbound, stop start traffic as to be expected, only on the next acceleration our car loses all power…and we begin to drift over to the hard shoulder. Bugger.

8.40 am AA man from heaven arrives (not heavenly cute just a God-send because of the situation, you get me?) and tows us from the motorway to a safer lay-by near St Helen‘s (?)

9.10 am Rang school to say daughter will be late, daughter is delighted at this news and tells the heavenly AA man to take his time. Kids go back to searching for lost Rice Crispie treasure on the back seats.

9:30 am Notice a dirty burger van further down in the lay-by, now desperately hungry for a bacon butty as the nutri-grain bar I packed just isn’t going to cut it. Must refrain.

10.20 am AA man tells us basically our car is pooped and begins the mountainous paper work to get a recovery vehicle to drive us back home. Hurrah, eldest daughter slightly deflated at having to go to school earlier than thought as her Dad arrives to take over the last leg of the journey…haha sucker!

10:45 am Try to convince Geordie he has broken the car with his Movember mustache. The car took one look at it and died on the spot. He is having none of this.

11.30 am Can’t take the suspense any longer, Suzie’s Burger Van (or Suzies Dirty Baps as me and Geordie have renamed it) is calling to me and after finding a bonus £10 under the driver’s seat we hop out (okay sprint) to the van to order our heart attacks.

11.34 am Bacon butty demolished and it was divine! Suzie even cut the fat off my bacon for me woohoo, here’s to 4 more years heart attack free!

11:45 I am hungry again because I made the mistake of reading Suzie’s dirty menu and now really want a Snicker. Proceed to spend the next ten minutes annoying the life out of Geordie until he goes and gets me a Snicker.

12:15 pm AA Recovery man arrives and the complicated yet strangely engrossing process of hauling our car on to the truck begins. Fascinating!

12:30 pm – 2:45 pm Geordie and I basically put the world to rights, have a bit of spat about our parents and then fall into a comfortable silence for the rest of the journey, much to the Recovery man’s delight I’m sure. My God he must hear all kinds doing his job!

1:05 pm Ask the AA Recovery man if his job is pretty much like a slightly more technical taxi drivers job….he doesn’t reply.

3:10 pm Home again, car at the garage awaiting diagnostics and the troops chilling out with roast chicken sarnies and a cuppa.

All in a day’s work in our house although I think I’m going to try to get that elusive  lie-in tomorrow.


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