Tag Archives: books

We’re Going to Need a Bigger Boat

I’m scared of the dark, there I’ve said it. I am a grown woman, mother of two whom I reassure and comfort from silly fears yet if I need to use the loo in the night I have to turn on all four lights en route to the bathroom. Last night we were driving home over 30 miles of moor land with only the car headlights and cats eyes in the road to guide our way. Having driven the same journey earlier in the day I knew we were surrounded by miles and miles of barren farm land with nothing but the odd house and herd of bewildered sheep for company. For the majority of the journey I was fraught with anxiety and consumed by thoughts of disaster and chaos. When the rain wasn’t pelting the car the fog was so dense that Geordie was reduced to driving at just 50 mph (insert sarcasm here) on the twisting narrow roads and obviously this did nothing to help my nerves, he was also getting very agitated at me telling him to ‘BLOODY SLOW DOWN’. All I was concerned about was not getting stranded out in the wilderness in the pitch black and had to busy myself with eating Cheerio’s and malted milk biscuits from our daughter’s backpack. I know my fear is silly, I’ve been ridiculed my whole life about it, Geordie says I’m scared of my own shadow, well who wouldn’t be..it’s dark!

My silly fears don’t stop there either. I watched Jaws with my brother when I was fairly young and since then I have been frightened of swimming in open water. When I go abroad or even on that one day a year that the weather is warm enough in the UK to warrant a dip in either the sea or lake, I can barely manage to get thigh deep before the panic sets in and off I run like a great white is nipping at my heels. I can’t even stomach one of those fish pedicure treatments, yuck. The thought of having fish swim around my feet and legs makes me very uneasy. My Mum tells me that when I was born in a suburb of Sydney, Australia she took me down to the beach at less than 10 weeks old and unceremoniously chucked me in the sea. I’m not sure how long babies have the under-water breath holding reflex but it’s no wonder I’m not a keen swimmer, Jaws has nothing on my Mum!

As a Mum myself I appreciate the importance of not imposing my fears on my children and our two regularly go swimming in the safety of the local pool without fear of me launching them into the deep end without so much as an armband.

NaBloPoMo

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The Lending Library

Following on from my earlier post/rant about lack of money I am reminded of a saying my ex father-in-law used to say when I was off work on maternity leave ‘Another day at the lending library is it?’ Meaning, another day whiling away the hours doing nothing basically. Who’d have thought that I would go on to focus on the lending library quite so much 7 years later?

Cover of "George's Marvellous Medicine"

George’s Marvellous Medicine

I have now read every single children’s bookin the 0-3 and 4-7 age group at the local library (for research purposes of course) as my own short series of tales for the 4-7’s has finally begun to take shape. This is the first step in a very long process and I’ve still got some work to do before getting myself a literary agent however I wanted to take a minute to say thank you to a few people who have helped me to push forward with my writing dream and make it a reality.

You’ll not be surprised to read that my first thanks are to Geordie and our beautiful little girls. The girls have given me so much inspiration and they’ve often trashed what I thought was my best idea with the blink of an innocent eye. Geordie is just well…Geordie, always super positive and encouraging me to do random things such as rowing (?!) for the sake of gaining a fresh approach to my writing, I wouldn’t have even started the blog had it not been for him.

Thanks to my lovely sister Caroline for all the free advertising she’s done for the blog, and for allowing me to recall some of our childhood mishaps for all the world to read. To my super talented brother Andrew for agreeing to provide some illustrations for the books on completion, thank you and I will be calling in that favour very soon!

To all the people on Facebook that always answer my crazy research questions and who take the time to read the blog. Watching those viewing figures gives me a ton of hope so thank you very much, I hope it’s made you smile if not laugh occasionally? Last but definitely by no means least (I really mean that) thank you to anyone who has ever read the blog as this site is basically writing practise and experience to help me to break into the big bad world of publishing.

Wish me luck!

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A Few Words

Everyone reads something everyday whether it’s intentional or not, we see the words on the shampoo bottles in the shower, the brand name on the tea bags at breakfast or the number and destination of the bus as it arrives, usually late at the bus stop. I love to read, and now that my eldest daughter is a confident reader it’s made the printed word much more interesting. It’s impossible to have certain conversations in her presence now as she can spell the words we don’t want her to hear, and at the train station she will quite happily ask about bowel cancer and Tampax, thanks to the large advertisements on the wall. I consider myself lucky that when it comes to pocket money day my not-so-little-one will always chose a book, magazine or Top Trumps before the usual carrier bag full of sweets and it’s never a surprise to find her curled up on the sofa reading Horrid Henry with the TV on full blast in the background, kids eh?

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Geordie doesn’t read and I can’t help but think this has a direct effect on his opinions and attitudes towards certain subjects. He has spent 10 years in his job reading manuals on circuitry and such things and can tinker away fixing things with the best of them, which leads me to believe that if you take the time to read you can master almost any subject.

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As a teenager reading bored me to tears. I had a real problem with being forced to read Macbeth and Romeo & Juliet at school as well as anthology of poetry, I was marched into the head of of English the day before deadline and asked why I was yet to produce three essays on the text. Looking back now I wish I had told the truth and said because you are forcing me to read something I don’t enjoy and find incredibly boring instead of saying something pathetic and along the lines of ‘Oh I forgot’. I went home that night and wrote three essays which helped to secure me an A grade in GCSE English. Who knew cramming actually worked?

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I started my love affair with reading pouring over Danielle Steele novels believing that if I lived in America one of those fanciful story lines would totally happen to me. Luckily I moved on to Stephen King quite quickly and got the biggest reality check that literature can throw at you, I never want to experience anything he has written that’s for sure. I think my parents and step sister Beth are responsible for my change of heart, I read the same crime thiller books as my Mum and Dad so we have a sort of family lending library going on. I dread teaching them how to use a Kindle so they’re both getting books for Christmas again!

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Do you like to read? What’s your favourite book?

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Fifty Shades of ?

I finished E.L James’ Fifty Shades of Grey last night and I’ve had some time to think about the characters and sleep on the filthy plot line. This is not a spoiler, no plot line revealed just my opinion on the book, so you can read on…..

Pain Rating Scale

I downloaded the title from Amazon on Kindle and settled down on Sunday to read in full view of Geordie and the kids running around causing havoc. After the first couple of chapters I was bored, but in trying to brush off the negative reviews I’s read I ploughed on to chapter six. Chapter six is round about where the text gets very graphic and I began to feel uncomfortable reading such intimate details in front of my kids, lucky for me that they don’t even know what a Kindle is! I was packing for my 300 mile round trip on Sunday afternoon and decided to leave my Kindle at home, not because I would feel self-conscious reading such a raunchy book in public, but because other than those sexy scenes it was a real struggle to finish. Lot’s of people have written reviews about how the text is repetitive and a little unbelievable in places, ‘Oh My‘ and ‘the way his pants hang from the hip in that way’ feature quite heavily but I think when faced with a ‘Room of Pain’ and little ‘Oh My’ wouldn’t go a miss!

In my opinion the book is too long by around 200 pages. On reaching chapter 19 I tweeted that once again I was struggling to see it through and was met with many responses such as ‘No carry on it gets better’ ‘You have to know how it ends’ etc. So at 1:34am this morning I finally finished the book and fell into an unsatisfied sleep. The ending is also a let down in my humble opinion and I have no desire whatsoever to read Fifty Shades Darker or Fifty Shades Freed to complete the trilogy.

When I’m reading a book I fully immerse myself in the story line, washing goes unwashed, carpets unhoovered you get the idea. Today I feel a bit annoyed with myself as I have some serious chores to do and the book is forgotten. I am returning to my ever faithful Peter Robinson and Peter James titles from today, their story lines stay with you for days, whether you like it or not, and once you’ve read about Banks and Grace well I have learned that you really shouldn’t stray.

My advice to those intrigued about Fifty Shades of Grey, buy it on Kindle its less than £3, that way you won’t feel short-changed if your left hoovering in a mood.

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We Apologise For The Inconvenience

Cover of

Cover via Amazon

……..normal service will resume following the completion of Fifty Shades of Grey via Kindle. I’m so intrigued by the wildly mixed reviews that I couldn’t resist having a peak myself. I’m 9 chapters in after  a couple of hours, while keeping an eye on my kids wrecking the living room and in my humble opinion it’s definitely worth a read. The kids are having a very early Sunday night so I can settle down to read, I need them safely snoozing away because Shades of Grey just got VERY interesting….

Ps, I was 451 calories under my goal yesterday, so I’m rewarding myself with a nice glass of rose tonight!

Catch you later…..

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