Tag Archives: Canada

When Zombie’s Attack

I think I have married one of those utter weirdo’s who prepare for the end of the world and Geordie is expecting Zombies.

I am genuinely scared of everything zombie related and other than Shaun of the Dead and an amazing short story called ‘I, Zombie’ by Nick Spalding there is no fun in zombies. I was given a class in what to expect from Prof Geordie earlier in the week and basically if we get those slow-moving, idiotic zombies that just bimble around bumping into hedges and low walls then he reckons we’re okay and we’d outlive them. However if we are plagued by those mega fast, actually quite intelligent ones that mistake your head for an all you can eat buffet, like the ones from the new Brad Pitt film, we’re goosed! This is not the best news I’ve had all week.

Earlier he asked SIRI (the Iphone Assistant App) if he was gay, and SIRI replied ‘We were talking about you not me’ which was hilarious at the time. This is the best news I’ve had all week. I know I know, we need more friends. 

Oh God Not Starbucks!

Do Zombies pay income tax?

So about the inevitable zombie invasion, Geordie reckons we could easily cruise around the local supermarkets  thanks to his advanced driving/zombie squashing skills and stock up on everything we need relatively safely, with one of the kids manning the Gatling gun at the back window to keep the blood suckers at bay, then return to the safety of our compound (he actually said compound because apparently he knows some awesome remote places that will be safe……help me!)  where we can live like kings, having the best of everything….apart from freedom.

Following the end of the 13th cycle of the Mayan calendar in December just passed there were reports of people from all walks of life who had spent months preparing for the end of the world. Some have prepared to be completely self-sufficient in case of economic collapse, with gas and electricity being generated within their own homes, and growing their own food. Others have built shelters, bunkers and basically just reinforced their sheds to withstand nuclear attacks (can’t see the shed being a good option there to be fair) and some can do little more than pray which appears to be enough for them. Now I’ve seen a fair few end-of-the-world type films and with most of them I’m not sure I’d want to make it through the apocalypse anyway! I am Legend anyone………no I didn’t think so?

When/if the Zombies come, and I hope to Christ it’s those slow buggers, I’m going to do my best to not be the first person munched into a big mess, I can’t see Geordie taking the same approach…’Come on kids, It’s Zombie slaying time’!!!!!!!!!!

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