Tag Archives: Dating

Two to Tango

Geordie is away at the moment, with his job he tends to go away once a month for a few days or a week, I’m used to it now. He went away for 5 months not long after we started dating, it was like the end of the world for me. I didn’t eat for three days and couldn’t sleep. Without the support of my friend Danielle I’d have ended our relationship because the stress was too much to bear. Now I know it takes separations like this for you to notice the little things that make you a couple.

When I get up in the morning the first thing I do is tip the shower head down again, as Geordie is taller than me we have it at different angles to shower. I swiftly move on to put the toothpaste back in the cup on the window sill, I’m still not entirely sure why he can’t do this but sure enough day after day the Colgate lays half squeezed on the sink while his toothbrush nestles in the safety of the cup. Once I’ve hung his wet towel over the banister correctly I.e. so it will actually dry, I put his laundry in the basket, as opposed to on the floor next to the basket where he leaves it and go get dressed.


Toothpaste (Photo credit: Fuzzy Gerdes)

Once downstairs I wash his breakfast dishes and wipe down the counter where he has spilled every substance he’s come into contact with that morning, butter, milk and tea usually. I make my own breakfast and clean up. In the living room I collect the empty lemonade bottle and glass that he’s left. The discarded crisp packet and biscuit wrapper go in the bin too. I fluff the cushions, have a quick hoover around and switch on the TV so the little one can watch cartoons while I catch up online.

As a couple this is the start of the dance routine of life, he sets the pace and I quick step around his handiwork to make sure we don’t live in a landfill. Occasionally I will moan about his lack of effort to help around the house and he will blame it on being a man and not being able to multi-task. Brushing your teeth and putting the toothpaste back? Come on…..he’s just a bloke.

It’s at times like these, when he’s away that I realise that it’s not really inconvenience, it’s just how we are. I miss the smell of his deodorant when he gets ready for work. The ear-splitting sound of the ironing board being opened at stupid o’clock in the morning when he forgot to iron a shirt the night before. I even miss putting his work boots away because if I don’t the dog will have a whale of a time chewing hell out of his laces and I then have to put up with Geordie f-ing and blinding about the whole thing.

It’s surprisingly easy to do the dance of love, even with two left feet.

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Are You Not Entertained?

A friend of mine asked if he could have a word with you…..call it research….this is M (It’s all a bit MI5 isn’t it?)

“This is 2012 isn’t it, supposedly women are stronger and more independent and, if you listen to Beyonce, girls rule the world. So why is it that they still look to men to keep them entertained? Maybe nothing has changed here for decades, maybe it’s always been the case that a man is there for a woman’s entertainment, not being a woman, I wouldn’t know this, but I had hoped for more.

I'm not entirely sure what the umpire is signa...

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This isn’t just something I have plucked out of thin air, I have a basis for these comments. I met up with a female friend yesterday and she said something which was pretty similar to something I used to hear from my ex-girlfriend.
Her fella is into sport, let’s call it cricket, cos that’s what it is and plays for his local team every Saturday. Now for a Saturday cricket game you can expect to leave the house at about 11am and return about 8pm, IF you don’t stay behind for a couple of social drinks afterwards. So this happens every week, and remember that there are seven days in the week. My friend was complaining that he was away for sooo long and why does it have to go on for such a long time! She admitted she got bored and was rubbish at entertaining herself, which just makes me think that women want men to entertain them.
Now if the shoe was on the other foot and it was the woman who was going to be out all day on a Saturday, I’m pretty sure most guys would be absolutely delighted, they’d be making plans to see mates, watching a lot of sport and spending some solo time on the internet (maybe). They certainly wouldn’t be bored.
So why isn’t my friend embracing her freedom on a Saturday and arranging days out with her mates and going for a few drinks? Or is she going to, but she just wants to make it known to her partner that it’s ‘not fair,’ that she gets left at home on a Saturday?
I’d love to know your thoughts”
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On The Job

I’ll get straight to the point……What do you wear to an interview today and does your choice of attire have to be relevant to the occupation? I am one of a rare breed, I love interviews. I also love going to the dentist, airline food and writing online dating profiles. The latter being a thing of the past now that I’m GeordiesGirl, but I am still called upon by the odd close friend to help ‘advertise their assets’ Wow that sounds totally seedy! I’m just good at viewing the profile as a self-advertisement where as when you write your own your maybe a little more conservative?

Back to interviews…..A good friend of mine went to an interview a couple of weeks ago,  he was hoping to secure the role of Assistant Manager in a retail store and text me for advice on what to wear. It’s been over 18 months since I had an interview but I have attended meetings and open days in that time and so kept my hand in with professional etiquette. Back in the day you could spot an interviewee at 100 paces, proudly carrying their record of achievement in one arm and sweating profusely in an awkward fitting Burton suit. Fast forward ten years and the goal posts have most definitely moved. As office attire has grown more casual with men not being forced to wear ties, and women narrowly getting away with sandals/platforms in some work places it becomes a real nightmare to know what is acceptable and to whom?


Too Casual? (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Let’s say your going for an interview to be a swimming instructor, what would you wear? A tracksuit…too casual? Is a formal suit, shirt and tie a little over the top? Your best Speedo‘s and goggles? What about if you were the manager of the Leisure Centre, what would you expect an interviewee to wear for such a meeting? From my friend’s quandry I can appreciate that it is more difficult to judge the situation when the role you’re applying for does not conform to the traditional office dress code. The last resort is to call the prospective new employer (and show lack of initiative) and ask ‘What should I wear’.

After three or four text pictures of suitable smart shirts and trousers combo’s we finally settled on a light blue Paul Smith Oxford shirt, Ralph Lauren navy blue chino-type trousers and Lanvin shoes, exactly what I would consider to be a smart casual look to work in management at a high street fashion store. We agreed that the outfit suggested that he was familiar with high street designers and knew what was currently on-trend in menswear. His choice of footwear was carefully selected to reflect the stores product lines, in my humble opinion it ticked all the boxes.

On the day of interview I don’t know who was more nervous me or him, but when the text came through a long, agonising week later to say he had got the job, I was ecstatic. As I write this my friend is preparing to begin his new job on Monday and probably enjoying his last Saturday lie in for a long time, at least he would have been had I not text him at 7:30am to check he definitely did wear the Paul Smith shirt?

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Moving On Up

Anyone who has read my author bio on the site will know that I’ve managed to fit a lot of life into my short 29 years. Without wanting to put too finer point on the negatives, there have been a fair few low moments for one so young and inexperienced, however my love of Psychologies Magazine and a good cathartic natter with my fiancé has helped me to focus on the positives, and never more so than now. Putting a failed marriage behind you aged 26 is a pretty soul-destroying process, as is learning the rules of being a single parent, living with your folks again and accepting the fact that online dating is an addictive pastime, nevertheless life does indeed go on and surely it can only get better….or more complicated.

I have regrets about my past, I think everyone does whether you believe in all the sayings about never having them or not. Mine lay mainly in putting myself out to my detriment; I am a terrible people pleaser and yet I often feel annoyed that I’m walked over, my own worst enemy! As a parent you might expect to hear of this selflessness, but my remit of being a door mat often extends to my family, friends, colleagues and even a few drunks over the years.

Penguin Book Covers

Penguin Book Covers (Photo credit: Paul Watson)

March 2012  poses a new chapter in life in two ways; first a humongous financial decision I made 12 months ago will finally come to fruition and I will gain the freedom and wisdom I lacked with money in the past.  Secondly, I have decided to use my young family as inspiration to go all out and meet my personal goals, instead of berating myself for another 29 years for making the wrong choices and always putting others first. Going through with my plan has taken some guts believe it or not, and the continued support of my husband who despite his apprehension of being left by the wayside due to my renewed determination and drive, has helped to make my plans a reality. So 15 years after leaving school I have finally worked out what I want to do with myself professionally and I’m about to embark on a writing course with Penguin Books.

I’ve never been so eager to learn something new! My husband has bought and assembled a new home office for me to work from, as well as arranged time off to look after our girls so I can study, and even sharpened my Cath Kidston pencils ready for action.

I’m still amazed that a little support can make these seemingly huge decisions so easy to put into practise. For the next few months I’ll be spending evenings researching, attending conferences and writing up reports while my husband making bottles, helping with reading books and ironing school uniforms. I know he won’t complain about it, he knows how much it means to me to succeed. I have a new goal to add to my list for 2012, and that’s to find a middle ground between door mat and assertiveness. I’ll let you know how I get on. ….

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