Tag Archives: kindle

The Climb

I think I am actually starting to lose my marbles you know!? I can hear the voice inside my head (It has a Scottish accent?) telling me that I’m not actually in control of anything that’s going on in my life. Let’s start at the beginning…

My kids decide what time I get up, usually pre-6am thanks to their unforgiving skill of making it through the day unscathed on less than 7 hours sleep. Geordie needs a high protein lunch ready for work by 7:15am. Yes, he can do this himself but as he will ask me every minute detail about what he needs to do (What can I have tuna with? How long does pasta take? How do I cook porridge?) it’s easier to just do it myself. The kids/monsters must be fed before 8am, similar repercussions of a Gremlin if this timetable is overlooked, the dog needs to be fed and walked and all of this is before 9am. Somewhere within all the chaos I should eat something, shower, get dressed and breathe.

Postman Pat

Postman Pat (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Tomorrow is going to be different, I am having a day all to myself. I am going for a consultation with a surgeon/magician who is going to fix my back once and for all. This is going to be a monumental day for me and my 7 month relationship with my broken spinal disc, he’s totally getting me down, suffocating my hopes and dreams so I’m calling it off. Ordinarily Geordie would drive me to the hospital which is about 50 minutes away, however I am going to take the Postman Pat bus that takes….wait for it……2 hours 14 minutes to get even close to the hospital. I will see the lovely surgeon/wizard and then happily skip back down to the bus stop and take the return journey through the wandering dry stone walled lanes of deepest darkest Cumbria, arriving home way past dinner time.

I need to switch off from being a wife/mum, most of the time just half an hour to sit and watch Eastenders or walk the dog with my ipod set to ‘blaring’ without thinking about changing the baby, or washing uniforms, is enough for me. I absolutely adore my girls and Geordie but I don’t think I would be human if I didn’t need some Me time just a couple of times a month? My friend Caz throws all her energies into Boxercise and climbing bloody big mountains as her way of chilling out from her busy schedule to a mum of four. Another friend dedicates one evening a week to staring at naked people, oh sorry I mean life drawing classes (Which involves staring at naked people) and reliably informs me she strolls home feeling thoroughly relaxed and much more confident about her aging body shape!

So in short, I have decided to sit on a public bus for approximately four hours tomorrow for the sake of being left well alone with my ipod, my kindle and a packet of Minstrels that I’ve managed to hide from Geordie for the last three days behind the biscuit tin in the cupboard. Can I get a whoop?

 

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I Owe You

An apology. Not only have I not blogged for four days, I have also severely dented the integrity of my blog and my ethos of ‘Procrastination is for Losers’. Don’t judge me just yet, it is only a minor blip in my otherwise shining record (?!) and it’s all because of that wicked Mr Grey.

I read Fifty Shades of Grey last week and struggled to finished the book as it was far too long. I said that I wouldn’t read the other two books in the trilogy, even the incredibly rude, pornographic-like text about the delectable Mr Grey’s talents wont be enough for me to endure another 1000 pages. Other’s have reviewed the book on lots of different sites and stated the repetitive declarations of ‘Oh My’ became annoying and prematurely gave up the ghost.

I was happy with my decision and didn’t spend much time pondering the next instalment of the story, until I saw my friend on Friday afternoon who, after reading my blog told me the second book was much better and that she was totally engrossed in the story. So being the sheep that I am, I immediately down loaded Fifty Shades Darker and once again ignored my kids getting up to mischief for a few hours while I read on. I know for a fact that I will now complete the trilogy, mainly because Fifty Shades Freed, the third title, caught my attention before the other two. I would already be on the third book by now as I read fairly quickly, however there was an incident.

If you read my blog regularly you’ll know I am gearing up to complete the 5×50 Challenge in September and have begun to lose a little weight and implement exercise into my daily life. I am now managing to burn at least 500 calories a day and eating much more healthily too. Sadly this effort was not enough to save my Kindle.

I was lying on my mum’s living room floor propped up on pillows, (this is my most comfortable place to stop my ever-lasting prolapsed disc for throbbing like hell) reading about Mr Grey and his pursuit of Miss Steele when I put down my Kindle to see to my baby who had woken up from a nap on the sofa next to me. In turning to pick her up my beloved Kindle was caught in the crossfire and was squished into LCD heaven by my considerably large behind. I cried out! I could see three or four lines of text behind a series of angry black lines that despite me pressing every button in every possible sequence, refused to budge.

In a blind panic I called Amazon, who I’d like to commend! They have the most professional, friendly and polite customer service employees anywhere. Luckily I am covered through my insurance and my new Kindle is winging its way to me as I type.

During my boring train journey north yesterday I missed my Kindle (or more so Mr Grey)and even resorted to picking up Fifty Shades Darker in paperback in two different book shops, mulled it over and then put it back. For all I didn’t really warm to the first book, the anticipation of finishing the story is now almost unbearable.

So to you my faithful readers, I apologize. Like a lot of people I have been captured by a wicked story line of love, sex and money. My integrity lies redundant on the floor. What can I do to win you back?

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A Few Words

Everyone reads something everyday whether it’s intentional or not, we see the words on the shampoo bottles in the shower, the brand name on the tea bags at breakfast or the number and destination of the bus as it arrives, usually late at the bus stop. I love to read, and now that my eldest daughter is a confident reader it’s made the printed word much more interesting. It’s impossible to have certain conversations in her presence now as she can spell the words we don’t want her to hear, and at the train station she will quite happily ask about bowel cancer and Tampax, thanks to the large advertisements on the wall. I consider myself lucky that when it comes to pocket money day my not-so-little-one will always chose a book, magazine or Top Trumps before the usual carrier bag full of sweets and it’s never a surprise to find her curled up on the sofa reading Horrid Henry with the TV on full blast in the background, kids eh?

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Geordie doesn’t read and I can’t help but think this has a direct effect on his opinions and attitudes towards certain subjects. He has spent 10 years in his job reading manuals on circuitry and such things and can tinker away fixing things with the best of them, which leads me to believe that if you take the time to read you can master almost any subject.

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As a teenager reading bored me to tears. I had a real problem with being forced to read Macbeth and Romeo & Juliet at school as well as anthology of poetry, I was marched into the head of of English the day before deadline and asked why I was yet to produce three essays on the text. Looking back now I wish I had told the truth and said because you are forcing me to read something I don’t enjoy and find incredibly boring instead of saying something pathetic and along the lines of ‘Oh I forgot’. I went home that night and wrote three essays which helped to secure me an A grade in GCSE English. Who knew cramming actually worked?

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I started my love affair with reading pouring over Danielle Steele novels believing that if I lived in America one of those fanciful story lines would totally happen to me. Luckily I moved on to Stephen King quite quickly and got the biggest reality check that literature can throw at you, I never want to experience anything he has written that’s for sure. I think my parents and step sister Beth are responsible for my change of heart, I read the same crime thiller books as my Mum and Dad so we have a sort of family lending library going on. I dread teaching them how to use a Kindle so they’re both getting books for Christmas again!

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Do you like to read? What’s your favourite book?

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Fifty Shades of ?

I finished E.L James’ Fifty Shades of Grey last night and I’ve had some time to think about the characters and sleep on the filthy plot line. This is not a spoiler, no plot line revealed just my opinion on the book, so you can read on…..

Pain Rating Scale

I downloaded the title from Amazon on Kindle and settled down on Sunday to read in full view of Geordie and the kids running around causing havoc. After the first couple of chapters I was bored, but in trying to brush off the negative reviews I’s read I ploughed on to chapter six. Chapter six is round about where the text gets very graphic and I began to feel uncomfortable reading such intimate details in front of my kids, lucky for me that they don’t even know what a Kindle is! I was packing for my 300 mile round trip on Sunday afternoon and decided to leave my Kindle at home, not because I would feel self-conscious reading such a raunchy book in public, but because other than those sexy scenes it was a real struggle to finish. Lot’s of people have written reviews about how the text is repetitive and a little unbelievable in places, ‘Oh My‘ and ‘the way his pants hang from the hip in that way’ feature quite heavily but I think when faced with a ‘Room of Pain’ and little ‘Oh My’ wouldn’t go a miss!

In my opinion the book is too long by around 200 pages. On reaching chapter 19 I tweeted that once again I was struggling to see it through and was met with many responses such as ‘No carry on it gets better’ ‘You have to know how it ends’ etc. So at 1:34am this morning I finally finished the book and fell into an unsatisfied sleep. The ending is also a let down in my humble opinion and I have no desire whatsoever to read Fifty Shades Darker or Fifty Shades Freed to complete the trilogy.

When I’m reading a book I fully immerse myself in the story line, washing goes unwashed, carpets unhoovered you get the idea. Today I feel a bit annoyed with myself as I have some serious chores to do and the book is forgotten. I am returning to my ever faithful Peter Robinson and Peter James titles from today, their story lines stay with you for days, whether you like it or not, and once you’ve read about Banks and Grace well I have learned that you really shouldn’t stray.

My advice to those intrigued about Fifty Shades of Grey, buy it on Kindle its less than £3, that way you won’t feel short-changed if your left hoovering in a mood.

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We Apologise For The Inconvenience

Cover of

Cover via Amazon

……..normal service will resume following the completion of Fifty Shades of Grey via Kindle. I’m so intrigued by the wildly mixed reviews that I couldn’t resist having a peak myself. I’m 9 chapters in after  a couple of hours, while keeping an eye on my kids wrecking the living room and in my humble opinion it’s definitely worth a read. The kids are having a very early Sunday night so I can settle down to read, I need them safely snoozing away because Shades of Grey just got VERY interesting….

Ps, I was 451 calories under my goal yesterday, so I’m rewarding myself with a nice glass of rose tonight!

Catch you later…..

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