Tag Archives: love

Middle Of The Road Mum

I spent two glorious child-free hours sipping over-priced coffee and people watching in the city centre this morning as I waited for inspiration for this blog post to pull up a chair opposite me.

I watched 10 or 15 mums and dads with babies in buggies strolling around the shops and I noticed how we as mums fall (roughly) into three distinct groups. The first group is the shiny mums. The shiny mums have beautiful hair, usually long flowing locks that are glossy and lightly curled. They stay cosy in the winter sun wrapped in fur hooded parkas accessorised with aviator sunglasses. The shiny mums have the most flawless make-up I’ve seen outside Met Quarter MAC, and their nails are on trend nude and slightly pointed. The shiny children baffle me, they rock all white ensembles with non-scuffed patent leather shoes all year round and some how remain pristine for the ENTIRE DAY! How do the shiny people do it? Did I miss an anti-natal class on grooming? How I’d love to be a shiny mum. More chance of winning the euro millions jackpot.
I fall firmly into the second group which is the Middle Of The Road Mums. My kids go to school and nursery in clean, ironed uniforms with freshly washed and plaited hair, thoroughly brushed teeth, armed with packed lunches containing at least one piece of fruit (rarely eaten though) yet I still look like I fell into my wardrobe….in the dark. On weekdays I get up at 5 to ensure we’re all out the door by 8:15 yet with three hours to play with I still only manage a pair of Nikes, leggings, random tee and my parka. Yes my hair is clean, my teeth brushed and I manage a sweep of mascara….but I am not by any means shiny.
My hair is shoulder length and generally tied up, my parka is non-fur trimmed, but stain resistant Helly Hansen (I know, so 1996) and my handbag is a Cath Kidston soldier changing bag complete with a few half eaten baby biscotti and 4 open packets of Huggies baby wipes. I’ve even tried getting up earlier so I have more time to plan and look a bit more ‘together’ but my kids always sabotage my efforts by spilling Weetabix all over themselves or me, then there’s nose bleeds, baby sick and toothpaste stains to contend with. Shiny mums I applaud you, I’m about three years off getting my shit together!
I may not be a shiny mum, but its good to have something to aspire to. Plus it could be worse. The third category of mums are the ones who don’t seem to care enough or who have different priorities. Kids in disgustingly dirty buggies, not wearing a coat when its freezing cold, nappies bulging from not being changed. I don’t use the blog to bitch, everyone is fighting a battle of some description I know, but seeing these innocent little mucky faces being screamed at for getting Greggs sausage roll all over themselves by mums with the latest MK handbags and their lashes/nails done, just breaks my heart.
Kids come first right? Shiny or covered in Weetabix!
GG
x
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Two to Tango

Geordie is away at the moment, with his job he tends to go away once a month for a few days or a week, I’m used to it now. He went away for 5 months not long after we started dating, it was like the end of the world for me. I didn’t eat for three days and couldn’t sleep. Without the support of my friend Danielle I’d have ended our relationship because the stress was too much to bear. Now I know it takes separations like this for you to notice the little things that make you a couple.

When I get up in the morning the first thing I do is tip the shower head down again, as Geordie is taller than me we have it at different angles to shower. I swiftly move on to put the toothpaste back in the cup on the window sill, I’m still not entirely sure why he can’t do this but sure enough day after day the Colgate lays half squeezed on the sink while his toothbrush nestles in the safety of the cup. Once I’ve hung his wet towel over the banister correctly I.e. so it will actually dry, I put his laundry in the basket, as opposed to on the floor next to the basket where he leaves it and go get dressed.

Toothpaste

Toothpaste (Photo credit: Fuzzy Gerdes)

Once downstairs I wash his breakfast dishes and wipe down the counter where he has spilled every substance he’s come into contact with that morning, butter, milk and tea usually. I make my own breakfast and clean up. In the living room I collect the empty lemonade bottle and glass that he’s left. The discarded crisp packet and biscuit wrapper go in the bin too. I fluff the cushions, have a quick hoover around and switch on the TV so the little one can watch cartoons while I catch up online.

As a couple this is the start of the dance routine of life, he sets the pace and I quick step around his handiwork to make sure we don’t live in a landfill. Occasionally I will moan about his lack of effort to help around the house and he will blame it on being a man and not being able to multi-task. Brushing your teeth and putting the toothpaste back? Come on…..he’s just a bloke.

It’s at times like these, when he’s away that I realise that it’s not really inconvenience, it’s just how we are. I miss the smell of his deodorant when he gets ready for work. The ear-splitting sound of the ironing board being opened at stupid o’clock in the morning when he forgot to iron a shirt the night before. I even miss putting his work boots away because if I don’t the dog will have a whale of a time chewing hell out of his laces and I then have to put up with Geordie f-ing and blinding about the whole thing.

It’s surprisingly easy to do the dance of love, even with two left feet.

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