I watched 10 or 15 mums and dads with babies in buggies strolling around the shops and I noticed how we as mums fall (roughly) into three distinct groups. The first group is the shiny mums. The shiny mums have beautiful hair, usually long flowing locks that are glossy and lightly curled. They stay cosy in the winter sun wrapped in fur hooded parkas accessorised with aviator sunglasses. The shiny mums have the most flawless make-up I’ve seen outside Met Quarter MAC, and their nails are on trend nude and slightly pointed. The shiny children baffle me, they rock all white ensembles with non-scuffed patent leather shoes all year round and some how remain pristine for the ENTIRE DAY! How do the shiny people do it? Did I miss an anti-natal class on grooming? How I’d love to be a shiny mum. More chance of winning the euro millions jackpot.
I fall firmly into the second group which is the Middle Of The Road Mums. My kids go to school and nursery in clean, ironed uniforms with freshly washed and plaited hair, thoroughly brushed teeth, armed with packed lunches containing at least one piece of fruit (rarely eaten though) yet I still look like I fell into my wardrobe….in the dark. On weekdays I get up at 5 to ensure we’re all out the door by 8:15 yet with three hours to play with I still only manage a pair of Nikes, leggings, random tee and my parka. Yes my hair is clean, my teeth brushed and I manage a sweep of mascara….but I am not by any means shiny.
My hair is shoulder length and generally tied up, my parka is non-fur trimmed, but stain resistant Helly Hansen (I know, so 1996) and my handbag is a Cath Kidston soldier changing bag complete with a few half eaten baby biscotti and 4 open packets of Huggies baby wipes. I’ve even tried getting up earlier so I have more time to plan and look a bit more ‘together’ but my kids always sabotage my efforts by spilling Weetabix all over themselves or me, then there’s nose bleeds, baby sick and toothpaste stains to contend with. Shiny mums I applaud you, I’m about three years off getting my shit together!
I may not be a shiny mum, but its good to have something to aspire to. Plus it could be worse. The third category of mums are the ones who don’t seem to care enough or who have different priorities. Kids in disgustingly dirty buggies, not wearing a coat when its freezing cold, nappies bulging from not being changed. I don’t use the blog to bitch, everyone is fighting a battle of some description I know, but seeing these innocent little mucky faces being screamed at for getting Greggs sausage roll all over themselves by mums with the latest MK handbags and their lashes/nails done, just breaks my heart.
Kids come first right? Shiny or covered in Weetabix!