Tag Archives: NaBloPoMo

The Best Laid Plans

AA van, Bristol, England

He’s Here!

Today has been one of the most farcical in history and yet also one of the funniest thanks to an unexpected turn of events. Here’s how it went down….

5 am up to get ready as driving 100 miles south to drop eldest daughter back to school. Night before spent washing, ironing, packing etc to make sure we get out of the house with two (still sleeping) children packed snugly into the back seats before heading off into the early morning light. Kind of like kidnapping your own kids type of thing.

7 am kids awaken and decide they’re both ravenously hungry and so the in-car picnic begins. Rice Crispies and whole milk followed by yogurt and banana and a warm soft bread roll (because they love them with butter straight from the oven…god bless tin foil)

7.20 am kids fall back asleep and the clear up of the Rice Crispie avalanche begins.

8.10 am Fast lane of the M6 southbound, stop start traffic as to be expected, only on the next acceleration our car loses all power…and we begin to drift over to the hard shoulder. Bugger.

8.40 am AA man from heaven arrives (not heavenly cute just a God-send because of the situation, you get me?) and tows us from the motorway to a safer lay-by near St Helen‘s (?)

9.10 am Rang school to say daughter will be late, daughter is delighted at this news and tells the heavenly AA man to take his time. Kids go back to searching for lost Rice Crispie treasure on the back seats.

9:30 am Notice a dirty burger van further down in the lay-by, now desperately hungry for a bacon butty as the nutri-grain bar I packed just isn’t going to cut it. Must refrain.

10.20 am AA man tells us basically our car is pooped and begins the mountainous paper work to get a recovery vehicle to drive us back home. Hurrah, eldest daughter slightly deflated at having to go to school earlier than thought as her Dad arrives to take over the last leg of the journey…haha sucker!

10:45 am Try to convince Geordie he has broken the car with his Movember mustache. The car took one look at it and died on the spot. He is having none of this.

11.30 am Can’t take the suspense any longer, Suzie’s Burger Van (or Suzies Dirty Baps as me and Geordie have renamed it) is calling to me and after finding a bonus £10 under the driver’s seat we hop out (okay sprint) to the van to order our heart attacks.

11.34 am Bacon butty demolished and it was divine! Suzie even cut the fat off my bacon for me woohoo, here’s to 4 more years heart attack free!

11:45 I am hungry again because I made the mistake of reading Suzie’s dirty menu and now really want a Snicker. Proceed to spend the next ten minutes annoying the life out of Geordie until he goes and gets me a Snicker.

12:15 pm AA Recovery man arrives and the complicated yet strangely engrossing process of hauling our car on to the truck begins. Fascinating!

12:30 pm – 2:45 pm Geordie and I basically put the world to rights, have a bit of spat about our parents and then fall into a comfortable silence for the rest of the journey, much to the Recovery man’s delight I’m sure. My God he must hear all kinds doing his job!

1:05 pm Ask the AA Recovery man if his job is pretty much like a slightly more technical taxi drivers job….he doesn’t reply.

3:10 pm Home again, car at the garage awaiting diagnostics and the troops chilling out with roast chicken sarnies and a cuppa.

All in a day’s work in our house although I think I’m going to try to get that elusive  lie-in tomorrow.


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Rolling With The Times

In exactly one week today I will bid farewell to my twenties and slip peacefully into my grown-up responsible thirties. Theres only one slight hitch with this theory and its this; I’ve been grown-up and responsible for the majority of my twenties and therefore I must be due some wreckless, immature fun……right?

Okay so I’ve been responsible for some dumb decisions like blowing £2k on a Barclaycard in less than a month and dating some dubious older men but also during this period in my life I moved out of my parents house, held down two jobs, attended college and got married, Phew! I’m absolutely sure there are at least three new blog posts worth of material in that last sentence alone. More to come on that later.

On reflection and following my strap line analysis the other day, Procrastination really is for losers and I’m going to make the most of the last week of my twenties with the people I love. I’m trying to make a conscious effort to keep up with modern technology and this is the first time I’ve blogged using the wordpress app on my phone, got to be honest I prefer the laptop…or maybe an old typewriter….fountain pen……chisel anyone?



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100 Not Out

Here’s to my first celebration, Geordie‘s Girl (not me, the blog) is 100. Since early March I have written 100 blog posts with November being my busiest month thanks to the NaBloPoMo writing challenge. Not bad for an old bird eh? I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about what I can focus on for this special occasion the most important of which was getting Sky to give me a decent bloody broadband connection, god they are truly crap aren’t they?

I decided to look for others who are celebrating today. It made the national news that Prince Charles is 64 today, not exactly my favourite royal! Josh Duhamel  (Transformers) is waving the flag for sexy at 40 today and my favourite actor in the whole world Patrick Warburton (Family Guy, Rules of Engagement) is 48 years young. According to yet another super-accurate Google search I found out that there will be an estimated 361,481 babies born worldwide today, aw happy birthday you little guys, welcome to the human race, approximately 82 couples got married in the UK today, congrats (don’t forget the first year of marriage is the hardest okay?). Last but by no means least Happy Diwali to everyone celebrating the festival of light! (Which I know technically started yesterday).

When I think about 100 the FHM‘s sexiest list springs to mind, as does 100 best kids toys for Christmas and mad lists you find on-line about 100 things to do before you die (of which about 35 are do-able on an average wage with a family to consider) Not exactly stuff to get massively excited about and who on earth voted for Tulisa? Don’t get me wrong, I like her but when stunner’s such as Emma Stone and Miranda Kerr are alive and well how did she top the poll…..(I’ve just been reliably informed it was because of her ‘tape’).

The blog has been a great outlet for me to practise my writing and to test myself at sticking at something for longer than five minutes. The only other thing I have applied myself to are pregnancy (standard 9 months) and marriage to Geordie (10 months and counting) so sticking to the blog for this long has given me a real confidence boost. My tag line is ‘Procrastination is for Loser’s’ and up until I started the blog I was the biggest loser I knew. I always got so carried away with random ideas that I would quickly tire of and then move onto the next hair-brained idea without success. I would never finish anything and get frustrated with never accomplishing anything. There are even blog posts about such ideas such as the wedding dress, and the weight loss you can read them here and here, the outcomes are predictable; the wedding dress is at the local Age UK charity shop and I’m still 11 stone 4lbs…bugger. Procrastination is a work in progress, but I am most definitely making progress, whatever you have achieved today or if you are celebrating, have a huge congratulations from me. xx

Cake anyone?

Photo credit here

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We’re Going to Need a Bigger Boat

I’m scared of the dark, there I’ve said it. I am a grown woman, mother of two whom I reassure and comfort from silly fears yet if I need to use the loo in the night I have to turn on all four lights en route to the bathroom. Last night we were driving home over 30 miles of moor land with only the car headlights and cats eyes in the road to guide our way. Having driven the same journey earlier in the day I knew we were surrounded by miles and miles of barren farm land with nothing but the odd house and herd of bewildered sheep for company. For the majority of the journey I was fraught with anxiety and consumed by thoughts of disaster and chaos. When the rain wasn’t pelting the car the fog was so dense that Geordie was reduced to driving at just 50 mph (insert sarcasm here) on the twisting narrow roads and obviously this did nothing to help my nerves, he was also getting very agitated at me telling him to ‘BLOODY SLOW DOWN’. All I was concerned about was not getting stranded out in the wilderness in the pitch black and had to busy myself with eating Cheerio’s and malted milk biscuits from our daughter’s backpack. I know my fear is silly, I’ve been ridiculed my whole life about it, Geordie says I’m scared of my own shadow, well who wouldn’t be..it’s dark!

My silly fears don’t stop there either. I watched Jaws with my brother when I was fairly young and since then I have been frightened of swimming in open water. When I go abroad or even on that one day a year that the weather is warm enough in the UK to warrant a dip in either the sea or lake, I can barely manage to get thigh deep before the panic sets in and off I run like a great white is nipping at my heels. I can’t even stomach one of those fish pedicure treatments, yuck. The thought of having fish swim around my feet and legs makes me very uneasy. My Mum tells me that when I was born in a suburb of Sydney, Australia she took me down to the beach at less than 10 weeks old and unceremoniously chucked me in the sea. I’m not sure how long babies have the under-water breath holding reflex but it’s no wonder I’m not a keen swimmer, Jaws has nothing on my Mum!

As a Mum myself I appreciate the importance of not imposing my fears on my children and our two regularly go swimming in the safety of the local pool without fear of me launching them into the deep end without so much as an armband.


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Day 10,934

Is it just me or did October literally fly by? See you later Halloween, shame our village ran out of pumpkins two days before the event and we only had two trick or treater’s all night. Boring!

Well here is day one of the November challenge NaBloPoMo where I have pledged to write a blog post every day for the entire month. Thank you to my cousin and fellow blogger for the heads up on this event! I’m looking forward to reading what ideas she comes up with for this mammoth task! You can read it too here

It’s going to be a very busy month for me, as you might have guessed from the title I’m counting down/up to a big event, my 30th Birthday, surely then I will have plenty to write about?! According to a super accurate Google search I am 10,934 days old and my have I packed a lot into that time. If you’ve read my About page or know me personally you’ll already know the ins and outs about my disastrous first attempt at marriage, dating and the ups and downs of being a divorced shared-custody parent.

Today I am going to write a bit of a round up…here goes.

First and foremost I am going to put cushions on my bed. I realise that from the seriousness of the last paragraph to something as frivolous as cushions is a might leap but stay with me. I am sewing pointless, pretty, girly coloured cushions and Geordie is just going to have to like it. For the last three years our bed linen has been a limited palette of black, grey or white and I have yearned for colour and pattern and accessories for far too long, if Geordie doesn’t like it he can sleep in the kids bunk beds. He never makes the bed anyway so who cares if I have to pick up a few extra cushions? Oh yeah, it’s on!

The second thing that’s going to change is that our wonderful, beautiful children are going to sleep in their own beds, both of them, all night, every night. If I have to wake up in the early hours nursing a tiny size 4 foot against my throat once more I’m going to lose the plot! So kids beware, it’s definitely on!

The last thing that’s going to change at the moment is that I am going to commit much more time to writing. I have started already but accepting the NaBloPoMo challenge and by viewing the local nursery so that I can leave my little one is good hands for a couple of hours a week and not have her sticky, pudgy fingers tapping away on the keyboard at the same time as me. For a 13 month old she has a very good typing speed, just need to work on the accuracy.

So coming up this month I will be focusing on Movember, Winter Fashion trends, Remembrance, Thanks Giving, my 30th birthday, Christmas preparation, Christmas party etiquette (also known as office Christmas party gossip) and of course the ever reliable Geordie. Hope that’s ok with you?

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