Tag Archives: parents

The Banana Yellow Unicycle

I thought I was going stark raving mad this morning, all because of a Padre on a banana yellow unicycle. Check that out for an opening line!

No Wheels for Me

No Wheels for Me

I was woken by the sun this morning, or at least that’s what the cheeks on my daughter’s poorly teething face felt like. So after a quick beaker of warm milk to fill her tummy and a drop of Calpol, we got wrapped up to head out along the perimeter road for a morning jog, pooch in tow. It was yet another beautiful morning here behind the wire and I’m starting to really enjoy getting out early when the airbase is quiet and there’s no traffic around. It’s at times like these that you can get so lost in your thoughts that you forget how you got from A to B.

It’s been quite a busy week and I got to thinking about a random conversation on Friday when a friend had mentioned trying out unicycling, obviously I laughed and made all the relevant circus jokes (how do you kill a circus?…. go straight for the juggler….two cannibals eating a clown..one turns to the other and says….does he taste funny to you?….boom boom) and predictably the conversation moved swiftly on to other subjects that I was less likely to try and make fun of.

So back to my walk and can you even begin to imagine my shock and confusion at the sight of a man unicycling towards me on what can only be described as a banana yellow unicycle……and he was really good….I stopped dead in my tracks, half throttling the dog in the process. I took out my headphones to wish him good morning in the hope that if what I was seeing was real, he would reply….and he did very confidently, as if the fact that unicycling around at airbase at 8am on a Saturday morning was a completely normal thing to do. As I walked on, adjusting my ear phones again, I couldn’t bring myself to look back and check that the previous 60 seconds of my life hadn’t been a wonderful subconscious dream, and that he really was quietly wobbling down the road behind me, arms out-stretched for balance.

I carried on walking in a bit of a daze. I genuinely had no idea if what had just happened was real and it was only at 7pm this evening that I utilised the power of social media and asked the community page for the airbase to tell me I wasn’t losing my marbles. Luckily the lovely guys and girls came through and confirmed that one of the Padre here on camp does indeed have a passion for unicycling and that no, I’m not as crazy as I thought. Thank the Lord eh?


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Mum Knows Best?

The Pink Panther cartoon character

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Please help me! My daughter has been asleep for the last twenty minutes and yet I am still sat here watching Raa Raa the Lion on CITV and I can’t bring myself to get up and turn it over. I’m fast becoming a champion of theme tunes, celebrity voice overs and episode names for the majority of Cbeebies and CITV cartoons and it’s not really what Geordie wants to hear about when he gets back in from the adult world of work. He moans about the monotony of his daily routine and not getting to the gym, I moan that the episode of Horrid Henry when Henry makes his Mum some nasty perfume was on AGAIN! It’s hardly a match made in heaven.

I am pleasantly surprised that with all the cartoons on the TV 24/7 that my youngest has taken a shine to some real classics, Sooty and The Pink Panther raising the highest squeal as soon as the theme tune kicks in. Are you humming The Pink Panther now? I do…in my sleep. There have been many heated debates over the dining table about which Atomic Betty theme tune is the best, I’m so old school but my girls are rolling with the times. Pah! what do they know, they’ve never even heard of ThunderCats, Trap Door or Willow The Wisp!

My Mum has offered to buy my eldest daughter a TV for Christmas for the last couple of years but I’ve always declined because I’m positive it will become impossible to get her out of her bedroom and into the fresh air without resorting to blackmail. Not a situation I want to tackle until she’s at least at high school, and while she still believes that you get square eyes from watching too much TV I’m going to usher her in the garden in her wellie’s to play as much as possible, especially when my cartoons are on.

What’s your favourite cartoon?

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It’s Good to be Long

The title of this blog is going to cover two completely different stories which have kept me very busy in the last week or so. I’m done with apologising for not blogging more regularly and banging on about my back (which is slightly better after the epidural treatment last week, thanks for asking) and if you don’t like my haphazard way of jumping in and out of the bloggisphere….tough. Ooooh check me out trying to be all harsh…I’m sorryI didn’t mean to upset you.

Credit Fashion Finder ASOS

I was out shopping with my sister a couple of months ago, I think we were in H&M at the time when I commented on the huge choice of tailed t-shirts and tops. By tailed I mean where the back hem is longer than the front hem. H&M stock this style in every colour and hue in their basic collection and personally I’m not a massive fan. They always remind me of Billy Connolly doing stand up in his black-tailed tee and odd shoes. For those young-uns who don’t know who Billy Connolly is, he played the bad guy in the last Garfield movie, and for those older peeps, yeah they made Garfield movie’s! On voicing my negative opinion on the tailed trend my sister, who is renowned for coming out with some really random opinions replied ‘Hey it’s always good to be long’.

I took a laughing fit at her latest doofus comment and even now I still don’t get it. She tried some feeble explanation based on us both being tall and often finding it frustrating to shop on the high street when it comes to maxi length dresses or trousers, but I still don’t see how a top that covers your behind and was previously championed by an aging, Scottish comedian who once danced naked around London’s famous Eros statue, would be a welcome addition to my wardrobe? I love the ensemble on the model pictured, but cant help but think it would look so much better if the tee wasn’t so long? Surely her figure looks bulky and unflattering from behind as the denim shorts are completely hidden? I’m yet to find another anti-long comrade in the argument as everyone else I’ve asked thinks it’s the bees. Bet my Dad would think it was stupid, but then again he is a big Billy fan. Hmmm.

Part two of the story is a bit of a twist on the title, it would be more apt to say It’s always good to belong. Like a lot of people I come from a dysfunctional family, my parents divorced when I was young, I have step-siblings and relations that don’t speak to each other. With our armed forces connections I’ve moved home almost 25 times now and my sister and me were born in foreign countries, so there’s two more passports to lose come holiday time. At Christmas I gave my Dad a book called ‘The Father’s Book, A Gift for you and your Father’ sounds like a great gift doesn’t it? You can have a look here. The book is stuffed full of questions about life and the aim is for my Dad to fill it in and return it to me as a keepsake for me and my family. Dad’s don’t talk do they? Since receiving the gift my Dad has realised that if he doesn’t recount the tales of his early life, we will never know what it was like and ultimately what shaped him into the man we know and love. I have just registered with Ancestry.co.uk and Genesreunited to find out more about my Dad’s family and after just one phone call to a distant second cousin I’ve heard tales of pit disasters, Indian adventures and a tragic death of a young baby and her mother. After moving around so often I’ve found it fascinating to uncover my working class roots in the North East of England  and I’m immensely proud to be a real Geordie Girl at heart. What’s your story?

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A Few Words

Everyone reads something everyday whether it’s intentional or not, we see the words on the shampoo bottles in the shower, the brand name on the tea bags at breakfast or the number and destination of the bus as it arrives, usually late at the bus stop. I love to read, and now that my eldest daughter is a confident reader it’s made the printed word much more interesting. It’s impossible to have certain conversations in her presence now as she can spell the words we don’t want her to hear, and at the train station she will quite happily ask about bowel cancer and Tampax, thanks to the large advertisements on the wall. I consider myself lucky that when it comes to pocket money day my not-so-little-one will always chose a book, magazine or Top Trumps before the usual carrier bag full of sweets and it’s never a surprise to find her curled up on the sofa reading Horrid Henry with the TV on full blast in the background, kids eh?


Geordie doesn’t read and I can’t help but think this has a direct effect on his opinions and attitudes towards certain subjects. He has spent 10 years in his job reading manuals on circuitry and such things and can tinker away fixing things with the best of them, which leads me to believe that if you take the time to read you can master almost any subject.


As a teenager reading bored me to tears. I had a real problem with being forced to read Macbeth and Romeo & Juliet at school as well as anthology of poetry, I was marched into the head of of English the day before deadline and asked why I was yet to produce three essays on the text. Looking back now I wish I had told the truth and said because you are forcing me to read something I don’t enjoy and find incredibly boring instead of saying something pathetic and along the lines of ‘Oh I forgot’. I went home that night and wrote three essays which helped to secure me an A grade in GCSE English. Who knew cramming actually worked?


I started my love affair with reading pouring over Danielle Steele novels believing that if I lived in America one of those fanciful story lines would totally happen to me. Luckily I moved on to Stephen King quite quickly and got the biggest reality check that literature can throw at you, I never want to experience anything he has written that’s for sure. I think my parents and step sister Beth are responsible for my change of heart, I read the same crime thiller books as my Mum and Dad so we have a sort of family lending library going on. I dread teaching them how to use a Kindle so they’re both getting books for Christmas again!

Do you like to read? What’s your favourite book?

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