Something I am absolutely terrible at is finishing a project. At the moment I have at least three things in the pipeline that I’ve started and just have no enthusiasm to finish. I know I will leave it until the last-minute to rush the finished article, be in a very bad mood with everyone in ear shot (as if its their fault) and then ultimately be annoyed that the end result isn’t my best effort. The fact that I can write three lines about how bad I am at finishing things just goes to show I have no real reason to not get off the laptop and just do it! But it’s too easy to find an excuse and now I am busy writing for the blog….
Project one is to finish unpicking the silk dupion wedding gown I bought for my wedding day back in January. You can see it here. It was ruined two days before hand and now I have vowed to remove the full skirt and train and remodel it into a mid-length cocktail/special occasion dress. I am quite capable of doing this, it’s just that so far it’s taken me three months to unpick two hems because I keep getting side tracked.
Project two is to complete the 40 metres of vintage lace bunting I am making for my little girl’s christening. We’re having a vintage tea party after the church ceremony in our garden and I refused to pay someone off Ebay £10 for three metres of mass-produced, poor quality bunting when I know I can do it better myself. So far I have laid the ribbons and lace out on the dining room table to begin cutting. The Christening is in August so no mad rush here, I bet I’m still saying that in late July.
Project three is slightly different but still as pressing. I started writing a series of children’s books when I first moved from the city and I am stalling on sending them to an agent for publishing. I don’t think they are good enough and I don’t know how I will handle the rejection when a professional confirms my fears. Should I just do it anyway and learn from the experience for next time? Will there be a next time?
I made ‘Procrastination is for Losers’ my mantra when I started this blog in March, but my fear of rejection and the ease at which I can pull an excuse out of thin air is holding me back. No time like the present rings in my mind, I’ve always been very competitive and I hate to lose. I was playing Sponge Bob tennis (Spongebob tennis racquet‘s and ping pong ball that belong to our girls) with Geordie in the living room during the England match and went off in a huff when I didn’t win, although I got my revenge by hitting him square on the nose with an excellent ace shot! Spoiled Brat much?It’s a lack of structure or routine in my life are to blame I think. I don’t have an employer to dictate what time I rise in the morning or what time I should eat lunch. I don’t regularly attend play group or baby clinic with my little girl because my stupid disc won’t allow me to sit down long enough to join in any conversation let along drink an entire cup of coffee.
I need to give my head a shake don’t I? I know I am very lucky to be in a position where I don’t have to work right now, and to discuss the lack of motivation I have just emailed the 5×50 Challenge to enquire about their Regional Ambassador opportunities, maybe there are others like me lacking that kick up the behind start we sometimes need. I also have my appointment for treatment this Friday! Yes, 13 weeks later I’m going to get better. And if my books turn out to be a pile of rubbish, then what have I lost? Nothing, and my kids think they’re great. I’m going to drag out my sewing machine now and finish the bunting…………honest!