Tag Archives: weight

100 Not Out

Here’s to my first celebration, Geordie‘s Girl (not me, the blog) is 100. Since early March I have written 100 blog posts with November being my busiest month thanks to the NaBloPoMo writing challenge. Not bad for an old bird eh? I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about what I can focus on for this special occasion the most important of which was getting Sky to give me a decent bloody broadband connection, god they are truly crap aren’t they?

I decided to look for others who are celebrating today. It made the national news that Prince Charles is 64 today, not exactly my favourite royal! Josh Duhamel  (Transformers) is waving the flag for sexy at 40 today and my favourite actor in the whole world Patrick Warburton (Family Guy, Rules of Engagement) is 48 years young. According to yet another super-accurate Google search I found out that there will be an estimated 361,481 babies born worldwide today, aw happy birthday you little guys, welcome to the human race, approximately 82 couples got married in the UK today, congrats (don’t forget the first year of marriage is the hardest okay?). Last but by no means least Happy Diwali to everyone celebrating the festival of light! (Which I know technically started yesterday).

When I think about 100 the FHM‘s sexiest list springs to mind, as does 100 best kids toys for Christmas and mad lists you find on-line about 100 things to do before you die (of which about 35 are do-able on an average wage with a family to consider) Not exactly stuff to get massively excited about and who on earth voted for Tulisa? Don’t get me wrong, I like her but when stunner’s such as Emma Stone and Miranda Kerr are alive and well how did she top the poll…..(I’ve just been reliably informed it was because of her ‘tape’).

The blog has been a great outlet for me to practise my writing and to test myself at sticking at something for longer than five minutes. The only other thing I have applied myself to are pregnancy (standard 9 months) and marriage to Geordie (10 months and counting) so sticking to the blog for this long has given me a real confidence boost. My tag line is ‘Procrastination is for Loser’s’ and up until I started the blog I was the biggest loser I knew. I always got so carried away with random ideas that I would quickly tire of and then move onto the next hair-brained idea without success. I would never finish anything and get frustrated with never accomplishing anything. There are even blog posts about such ideas such as the wedding dress, and the weight loss you can read them here and here, the outcomes are predictable; the wedding dress is at the local Age UK charity shop and I’m still 11 stone 4lbs…bugger. Procrastination is a work in progress, but I am most definitely making progress, whatever you have achieved today or if you are celebrating, have a huge congratulations from me. xx

Cake anyone?

Photo credit here

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Bounce

Hi, how are you? Yet again it’s been a rather challenging week for me, picked up a cold from my sister at the weekend and my back has gotten progressively worse since my train journey on Sunday, hence not blogging all week. Finally found a comfortable place (flat on the living room floor) to be able to lay down and write. So here it is.

First and foremost here is my weight loss update which I know was due on Thursday to keep up the pressure to exercise and watch the diet. I’m absolutely delighted with the result and it just goes to show that even the battered disc and snotty nose won’t put me off walking the dog. Although I have consumed a naughty amount of galaxy chocolate this week….for medicinal purposes. I’ve tried to crack on with preparation for the 5×50 Challenge as well and dragged my little dog out in the gales to complete the 5k, admittedly I only managed it four times this week, but it’s a good start. I apologize  for the picture quality, I was literally stunned and so wobbled a bit taking the photo. So that’s a just on a stone in two weeks, thanks guys, I did it with your help and more importantly I’m really eager to carry on! Here’s to next Thursday’s results.

While the typical British Summer weather lashed against the window panes this week I have busied myself with reading the other two Fifty Shades books, which I know I said I wouldn’t bother with. They were a welcome distraction though and as with the first book, I was definitely more interested in the will they/wont they end up together storyline and not the erotica. In my humble opinion, it got a bit boring. There’s only so many times she can bite her lip, and he can raise an eyebrow! However now that I have completed the trilogy I’m happy to move back to my crime thrillers and a little something for the soul……..Geordie got the full low down on the latest fad which is..wait for it…..Buddhism! I don’t really know why? I’m not a particularly religious person and I have conflicting opinions on Christianity but I would never deny anyone else their beliefs. I guess it’s trying to find some faith, nothing wrong with that right? So tomorrow I begin with ‘An Introduction to Buddhism’ on my faithful Kindle #2. I’ll let you know how I get on.

To draw a definite line under Fifty Shades of Grey and the curiosity that drove me almost insane I shall end this post with a brilliant poem by my wonderful and gifted friend Ann Briggs. Enjoy.

My Porn Poem

NOT FOR under 18’s or the easily offended!

by Ann Briggs

 50 Shades of F*&ing Weird (4th June 2012)

Middle class housewives everywhere have discovered 50 Shades of grey,

And book groups since page 60 are becoming quite risqué.

Sneaky reads on school runs, hot flushes in four doors, are leaving the women of Middle England, curious, panting and wanting more.

Ann Summers are delighted at the sale of ball gags, cuffs and bondage ties.

While Equestrian centres are confused, as despite recession the sale of riding crops is on the rise.

Discussions held on Facebook casually mention words like butt plug and vanilla.

But I have words of warning for the readers of this bondage bodice ripper.

In the past I frequented a fetish night, witnessed images that have haunted me.

The unsightly squash of male genitals when encased in see thru PVC.

Couples who led their partners round on a dog collar and choke chain.

The oddly named playroom which in truth was an area for pain.

The whips, the paddles, the crucifix, studded belts and wooden canes.

and other instruments of torture so historical, I still don’t know their name,

Of all the perversity I encountered there, the worst that I have seen.

Was a group of closet transvestites who dressed as Margaret Thatcher and the Queen.

Now I quite fancied owning a slave, thought he’d be handy with the mop.

And rubber is so practical when doing housework but his gasmask put me off.

Despite the voyeuristic value and education the whole scene appeared somewhat seedy.

The people weren’t exotic and exciting, just middle-aged, a bit desperate and needy.

I was put in mind of Michael Hutchence, all rock star glamour , hedonism and sleaze.

But what’s exotic about dying hanging from your belt with your pants around your knees.

Now there’s nothing wrong with a bit of kinky, I reckon the Beckhams even have their scene.

Both wearing Primark in the bedroom watching QVC whilst troughing on ice cream.

But there may come a point when you question where will all this stop?

As you prowl across your bedroom in rubber knickers flexing a riding crop.

Your partner suspended from the ceiling naked in a swing.

He’s beaming with anticipation while you’re thinking “This just ain’t my thing”

You’ll miss your weekly 20 minutes sandwiched between the news and footy highlights.

When sex was a set of tried and tested moves, minus whips and fishnet tights.

And getting ready for bed meant washing your armpits and brushing out your hair.

Not four hours of talcing up the leather bodysuit and fixing on the bondage gear.

And safe words where phrases like never mind love, it might be cos your cold.

Not random words like purple lorry  cos you’ve reached your pain threshold.

So ladies enjoy the titillation from the book, there’s no harm in a bit of tease.

But leave the dark stuff to the professionals, the clergy and MP’s!!!

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